Sad days...

 Hello

 (weheartit.com)

For the past few weeks I had a really challenging period of time. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. First I was in a shock and later on I was just sad and I basicly lost myself in a self-pity. I didn’t feel like enjoying my life anymore even tough everything else was going just perfect. I stopped going out, blogging, writing in general, watching movies and at some point I was even considering quitting my uni and moving back to my mom’s house. I stayed indoors most of the time and read book. Fantasy books, dystopian to be honest any kind of books that the content is happening in an imaginary world just to get lost in it and forget about the real world and life that is happening just outside my doorstep.

One evening I was thinking and I realized that everything is still going, still moving except me. I was stuck in the same exact place that I was a few weeks back and then it occurred me that the main problem was me, not mom’s cancer or anything else but me. My mom never, not even for a second thought of giving up, while I was throwing in the towel. I went to sleep and the next day I woke up with a completely new mentality – I want to live.

Some things you can’t change and you can’t turn back time, but realization that my negativism won’t get me anywhere was life changing.

I realized that is okay to fall down as long as you can get up and move on. Accept it, live with it, make the best out of it. 

I am sorry for being missing a while.

More, later.

-Bella